Legions of Followers

Robert, what’s a “follower?”

A follower? Followers are the “sheeple” who mindlessly flock to whatever shiny object happens to appear in front of their noses. They don’t know good from bad, which is what makes them followers. They have no minds of their own, have terrible taste, and wouldn’t know a Kandinsky from a Klee if it was signed and dated for them with an accompanying letter of provenance.

Robert, I notice that you have over 100 followers on TeachersPayTeachers; isn’t that great!

Oh, are you talking about my followers? They are completely different kinds of followers. No, my followers are the ones who are smart enough to recognize that I’m doing something interesting and unique, that my work outshines all the others, and that they want to encourage me to do more of what I do.

There’s someone on TpT selling activities that are based on the characters from Dr. Seuss books. She has over 9,000 followers.

Yeah, but her followers are idiots.

How do you communicate with your followers?

Communicate with them? What the f•ck are you talking about?

You can send them a message, don’t you know that?

I can?

Robert, are you serious? Don’t you know you can send them a message once a month! You have to reach out to them and tell them how wonderful your store is….

But it’s not that wonderful; it’s just stuff I put together for my teachers, and I figure people will like it enough to buy it. I mean, I love my followers, each and every one of them, and I’m sure someday I will repay their love and devotion with something. I just don’t know what that is, yet.

A word of thanks would probably be a good start…

Oh, yes, of course! Dear Followers: Thanks!

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